12/2/2010 Friday

Everyone including myself is in the festive mood of Chinese New Year. We all can't wait to receive the numerous red packets and eat lots of delicious snacks and food. Some of us may love to see our cousins and relatives again this year. The best of all is the fact that we are given a short break from school.

Many of my friends left for their homeland this New Year. I hope they can all bond better with their families. Some went to Indonesia, Penang and perhaps Hong Kong and India? I hope we will all still stay in touch for years to come. :3

Now, enough with this long winded talk. Admit it, you are just here for the story. ;) Without further ado~

Retard fics- An Akatsuki School [Hidan]

Sunthari appealed into ACJC and was immediately accepted. She met the girls in the canteen and they were overjoyed. "You are here! Hooray!"

Just then, the bell rang. They quickly drew out their timetables and checked for lessons. "Hey, I'm free. What about you guys?"

"I'm free too."

Only Claire looked really pale. Janice stared at her and asked: "What's wrong Claire? You don't look so good."

Sunthari took her timetable and looked at it. Then, she grinned and said: "Uh oh, Claire has a lesson."

Felicia looked up and questioned: "Eh? What lesson is it?"

"Religious Education. I guess it is only given to those without a religion."

They marched Claire off to class and dumped her there. She turned around to find only a small group of students. "I guess there are not much free-thinkers in this school. Hmm... I wonder who is our teacher."

She didn't have to wait long. The door swung open and some of the girls gasped in surprise. Wearing his cloak half-unbuttoned and his silver hair combed towards the back of his head, was Hidan. He glanced at his students with his purple eyes and his mouth curled into a smirk. "Heh. I expected as much."

He sat down on Claire's table and said: "I am Hidan, your religious educator."

The girls in the small class screamed. He glared at them and they giggled. "Right... You are the few who have survived in this world without a religion for more than a decade. However, because of that, Akatsuki has decided that you would become potential followers of Jashin-sama."

He pointed to himself and continued: "I am immortal. I can be ripped into bits and still survive. I'm not interested in disclosing my age to you, but I am very old. And, I still look really young, don't I?"

He then got off Claire's table. "I will teach you the ways of the almighty Jashin-sama. If you follow closely, this immortality can be yours."

The class gathered around. He became teaching them to draw the symbol of Jashinism: a triangle within a circle. As he taught, Claire did not pay attention. She was busy day-dreaming about lunch. Just then, she was jolted out of her thoughts when Hidan called her. "I want that girl over there to come here."

She looked up to find everyone staring at her. "Er... Yes sir?"

"I want you to come up here."

Claire came up and stood next to him. He then turned to his students and said: "Pain is nothing when you have an immortal body. In one of Jashin-sama's lectures, pain is pleasure to his followers."

He turned to Claire and ordered: "Inflict any kind of damage on me. Only then will you truly be able to understand the teachings of the Great Jashin-sama."

Claire blinked and nodded. She swung her leg around and her foot connected with his-

"YEOW!!!!!!!!!!!!! F***!!!!!"

Hidan was clutching the area where Claire accidentally kicked him. The students saw him jumping around and cried out: "Oh wow! Jashin-sama really is cool! Hidan-sensei is jumping around for joy!"

"But it looked real painful. I remembered the time I accidentally knocked mine against something. It hurt like hell. Dude, I'm so following this Jashin-sama person!"

Class was dismissed earlier because Hidan just collapsed onto the ground. As he was groaning in agony, Kakuzu came over and dismissed the class. However, before they left, he asked: "Could the person who did this to Hidan please step forward? I wish to speak to you."

Knowing that she was in deep trouble, Claire reluctantly stepped forward. Once Hidan was transported out to the school infirmary and the students left, Claire immediately tried to explain. "S-sir! I-I swear I didn't mean to-"

'What is your name?"

"Er... Claire sir."

"Do you take Home Economics?"

"Yes sir."

He simply kept a straight face and looked away. Before he could leave, the smile he forced himself to suppress formed on his lips. "I look forward to having you in my class."

Just like that, Claire became one of Kakuzu's most favorite students.

I FINALLY COMPLETED HIDAN!!! R&R people! :D

9/2/2010 Tuesday

I fell sick again today. HAHAHAHAH! My voice sounds so soft, people thought I was depressed. Maybe deep down in my heart, I actually am. Nah... I must give myself some time.

I spent a long time going about on how to write this next fic. I had to ask Janice and Felicia to give me some inspiration. Thanks to them, I was able to craft this fic. As mentioned in the above title: Ying Ting WILL kill me for this.

Retard fics- An Akatsuki School [Deidara]

Unfortunately, Art is complusory for ALL students. Today, it was the small class of twenty student's turn to attend the art lesson. The previous class stumbled out covered in bits of clay or wearing exhausted expressions on their faces. As they made their way in, bits of clay were everywhere.

Everyone sat down and patiently waited for their teacher. There were murmurs of: "What's going on with those students just now?"

"What exactly are we going to do today?"

"Who is our teacher? I hope its someone as handsome as Itachi-sensei."

The murmurs stopped and the squealing began when Deidara stepped into the classroom. Janice, Amanda and Claire had to hold Ying Ting down to prevent her from trying to kill their art teacher. Deidara ignored the squealing and did not notice the killer look in Ying Ting's eyes.

"Good afternoon un. I'm Deidara, your art teacher."

The squealing started again. A flicker of annoyance crossed his face and he glared at the students. Unfortunately, that brought about more squealing. After the fan girls finally settled down, he began the lesson. "Here, I will teach you to kill with art un. However, you can't kill with paintings or such crap unless you take it and smash it on people's heads.

Hence, we will use clay in making sculptures to hide weapons un."

He took out a few packs of clay and threw it onto everyone's tables. He then said to the class: "Make something for me un. I want to see your work and will grade you accordingly."

A girl blushed and asked: "Will you give a reward to the best female student who did the best art?"

"... Whatever you wish un."

The girls squealed. Ying Ting was determined to lose. She simply made a cylinder and stuck a string into the top. "I will blow that @!&#&@ guy up with this!"

At the end of the lesson, Deidara looked around. No one's art piqued his interest, simply because it was what he already saw. When he reached Ying Ting's art, he paused for a moment. "Did you make this un? I gave you an hour and this is what you made?"

"Yeah? So?"

He grinned. "You've already caught the essence of my art: Art is a bang un. You are the best student among everyone."

And he did what many female students wished for, Deidara kissed Ying Ting on her forehead. She ran out of the classroom screaming in pain. He had no idea what he did. He raised an eyebrow and said: "Alright... Class is dismissed un."

The four girls had to comfort Ying Ting, who was emoing at the garden. Then, Claire saw Deidara walk towards the garden. He sat down and fell asleep on the bench. With her speciality in embarrassing him, she decided that there was in fact, a way to prevent Ying Ting from being depressed all day long.

Deidara woke up and went to the staff room. Zetsu looked up and was about to call his name when he stared at him. The blonde had no idea everyone in the staff room had their eye on him. That is, until he entered the male's bathroom. "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!! un."

He fainted. That's right. Amanda, Claire, Ying Ting, Janice and Felicia made him wear a dress and let his hair down. They also put make up on his face and took several pictures of him. Of course, he did not know who did it. Pein was pissed when Deidara had a mental breakdown. He sent him straight for therapy and demanded the therapist that the blonde MUST be back by tomorrow.

The five students made a lot of money from their sale of Deidara's picture. All art lessons were cancelled for the rest of the day.

No one was allowed to disturb the teachers anymore. Ying Ting remained as Deidara's favorite student.

As I said before: Ying Ting WILL kill me. R&R!! :D

7/2/2010 Sunday

Tomorrow is the start of hell, homework and lectures. Now, I just wish to become like Riddle and Tare. Guys, I admire you.

Well... I may not be able to update tomorrow, so here. I have decided to give you another fic over the weekend. Please visit Riddle's blog: http://www.lifesariddle.blogspot.com
She/He (unknown gender) is a good writer. Take a look into his/her thoughts. :3

Now, without further ado...

Retard fics- An Akatsuki School [Sasori]

Pein could not believe how his school was turning into an almost complete failure. The teachers are highly skilled ninjas whom could wipe out an entire country if possible. They had decades of experience on the battlefield, skills that no ninja could rival.

Two teachers... TWO highly skilled Akatsuki members, were temporarily removed from their teaching post in less than half a day. And it was one verus twenty or a hundred students. Unskilled students who could not even toss a kunai into the wall. He slapped a hand to his forehead. "Sasori better do a good job."

Now, it was history lesson. Ying Ting, Amanda, Claire and Janice sat in the lecture theatre. Felicia was busy enjoying the air-con in the library because she didn't take history. However, Janice should be with her. Janice came to the lecture theatre not out of a sudden passion for history, rather for a chance to stare at Sasori.

She squealed when Sasori entered the lecture theatre. He raised an eyebrow and asked: "Do I have only ten students taking History? Pity. I always thought History was more enticing than Geography."

He beckoned the students to move closer and he turned the microphone off. He grinned and Janice squealed again. "I suppose you now know what is college is about. We teach you to kill using oblivious and modern methods. However, this college is not all about practical. Today, I will teach you some theory. We require this knowledge of poisons in order to kill.

I shall teach you the art of poisoning, as well as the history of art."

Unfortunately, Sasori refused to let them handle any poison. He simply went through slide shows to teach the students about the formation of these poisons over time. Some of the lethal poisons dated back even Before Christ. However, they saw no sign of the history of art. One hour before the end of the lecture, he stopped teaching.

"I select only the best students to take my second module: the history of art. You have to pass a test in order for me to take you in. I want an essay written now. I shall give you the remaining time to tell me: What is art?"

The rest of the students simply wrote furiously. Some were able to complete a four page essay, a five page essay. Ying Ting, Amanda, Claire and Janice simply fell asleep. Sasori did not bother waking them up. When the time was almost up, the four girls woke up and scribbled just one line on their paper. Sasori rolled his eyes and murmured: "Those girls are going to fail."

At the end of the lesson, he had a hard time trying to get out of the lecture theatre. Janice hugged him tightly and squealed: "Kyaaa! Sasori-sensei!!!!!!!!!!"

"Get off me. I simply have no time to entertain you."

Janice simply clung on tighter. After hours of shaking Janice off, he was finally able to mark the scripts in peace. Sasori did not pass the students who wrote the long essays. "They did not capture the essence of art."

Then, he sighed when he saw the single line on the four girl's essays. However, he had to be fair. He picked it up. When he read the sentence, his hand stopped moving. His eyes read the sentence of all four girl's papers.

The next day, the results were out. Janice, Ying Ting, Claire and Amanda scored full marks for their essay and were the only ones who could enter the module. And this was what the paper looked like:

Q: What is art?

A: Art is eternal.

Remarks: An excellent insight. You have excelled.

Sasori was nearly fired for that.

R&R ^w^

6/1/2010 Saturday

I spent the day preparing for Chinese New Year. I really can't wait! Also, my two friends were bugging me to continue the Akatsuki story. I shall acceed to their request.

However, I do have a wish. I do hope more of my friends could at least come take a look at my stories. D: Without further ado, enjoy the next part~!

Retard fic- An Akatsuki School [Kisame]

The next lesson was complusory for all students. However, only a group of twenty showed up as the rest were at their lessons. This year, only a hundred students were chosen among millions to take up the elite courses at the college. What will they do this round?

Kisame led them to a lake at the back of the school. Felicia and Amanda blinked. When did this Junior College own a lake?! Kisame turned to them and grinned. "Today, I will teach you fishing."

The students gasped. Fishing? Is this even a subject? He laughed at the puzzled look on their faces. "Believe it or not, fishing is also a weapon to kill."

He pointed towards the lake. The students gasped again when they saw eyes poking out from the water. "Those," Kisame explained. "Are freshwater crocodiles, the most fearsome crocodiles ever. Thankfully, they are only available in the asia region. This, is how we kill."

Kisame took up a fishing rod and pointed towards a sack at the distance. He threw his fishing rod. Within a flash, the sack fell into the waters and was torn into pieces within less than five seconds. Some of the students trembled and whispered: "H-how did Kisame-sensei do it?"

He turned around and replied: "I use the hook on my rod to hook onto the target's clothes. With enough strength, you can yank your target into these waters and the crocodiles will do the work for us. The usage of weeds are also allowed."

Everyone was made to practice using fishing rods to pull their opponent down onto the ground. They practiced for hours, yet Kisame was not satisifed. He kept calling out to them to work harder.

Ying Ting got bored of all this practice. She decided to fish. She took up a fish and threw it into the waters. Kisame saw it and was about to reprimand her when his face suddenly turned white. The crocodiles were viciously attacking the poor piece of meat. Then, he screamed.

Every student turned around to stare at their teacher. He crouched at a corner and was crying. "How? How can you do that to the poor little fish?!?!"

Ying Ting stared at him and replied: "It is dead."

"NO!! Fishies should be given a decent burial! NOOOOOOOOOOOO!"

The wailing caught Zetsu's attention and he had Kisame march straight off into Pein's office.

Fishing lessons were cancelled until Kisame recovered from his trauma. Another rule was added to the Akatsuki College rules:

Fishes will be treated with respect from now on. No fishes will be sold in stores or found anywhere within these premises.

R&R ^w^

4/2/2010 Thursday

MY H2- CHEM/MATH and H1- ECON LECTURE NOTES DON'T MAKE SENSE! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Senseis, help me!!

However, will the Akatsuki be useful teachers in those subjects? Beats me. Enjoy the first official chapter of- An Akatsuki School!

Retard fics- An Akatsuki School [Itachi]

Since only Felicia and Amanda took Physics, they went for the Physics lecture in the science lab. There, they saw the very first teacher for the day. He wore the Akatsuki cloak, a garment that teachers of Akatsuki Criminology Junior College must wear. It was a black cloak, covered in the design of red clouds outlined in white.

It was a man with black, shoulder-length hair. From the look on his face, he seemed to be a very serious teacher. However, the female students began to squeal. He frowned and activated his Sharingan and the squealing stopped. He walked up to Felicia and Amanda's desk, which were right in front of the teacher's table.

"You are here," he said sternly. "To learn. Here in this college, we teach you to kill. However, because of modern society, using weapons is no longer an option. We teachers at Akatsuki use everyday objects, theories learnt through common schools to kill. You are selected among millions of students as we see the traits in you to carry on our name.

I do not wish to see anyone interrupting my lesson in any possible way."

Then, he turned to the visualizer and began teaching the topic of relfection and refraction. "We usually use mirrors to kill. Every Akatsuki mem- I mean teacher, carries a laser pen. However, it is a real laser that can cut through anything. Observe."

He placed the mirrors in a certain position. Once he was done, he took out a silver pen. By pressing a button, a jet of red light hit the mirrors and sliced off a strand of a student's hair. He fainted. The class was to get into pairs and to practice using a torchlight. Amanda did the arrangment.

When Itachi walked closer to examine their work, Felicia turned the torchlight on. The light blasted directly into Itachi's eyes. He blinked twice before clutching his eyes. "THE HORROR!! ARGH!!!!"

He crashed into the mirrors and there were gasps from students. The class was dismissed when Itachi went to pronounce to Pein, the school's Principal that he went blind. Pein rolled his eyes and sent him to the medic to get his eyes checked again. Janice, Ying Ting and Claire were still discussing about something when Felicia and Amanda came back.

"Wow, that was fast." said Janice.

"Yeah, free period!" Amanda cheered.

Future physics lectures were cancelled untilt the next week, thanks to Itachi's own idea.

How is it? Huh? Huh? R&R!!! :D

31/1/2010 Sunday

Tomorrow is when the ACJC nightmare starts again! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! However, I have to enjoy these precious moments by doing whatever I want! Muahahaha!

First, I wanna thank my friends for inviting me to the SOY cosplay event and the movies this weekend. Seriously, it was the best time of my life in this week. Wahaha.

Secondly, I have to say: I LOVE PERSONA 4 SONGS!!

Lastly, I shall present to you the first part of my newest series of fics. This idea was given to me by Felicia I think. With my crazy imagination (that is nowhere as creative as Ying Ting, Janice or Amanda's) and my newfound love for the entire Akatsuki team, (Yes, I have to like the annoying Hidan, Deidara and Kakuzu) I created this. Guess what? It is on the spot as well! :D

But I do apologise as I can only squeeze a few into this fic. I filled in those who actually knew who the Akatsuki are. Whoever wants their name written in shall sign up on my chatbox. Wahaha!

Retard fics- An Akatsuki School [Epilogue]

*Persona 4 opening theme plays* Nah... I'm kidding.

It was very quiet within the room. The curtains were drawn, blocking out the sun. The room was cool with the air condition turned on. It was dark and peaceful. The peace and silence was interrupted by the gentle thrill of the five girls' phones. Well, almost all of them were on vibration mode, except Janice's.

It was playing the Barney theme song, blasting out of the phone's speakers. "I love you.... love me.... Happy family..."

"Janice, shut that phone." Ying Ting groaned.

Janice was still sleeping. Amanda shot out of bed and cried out: "Our posting results are out!"

Felicia, Janice and Claire slowly stirred. Felicia sat up with Ying Ting and looked at their handphones. Janice opened her eyes and shifted, going back to sleep. Claire's hand stuck out from under the covers and searched for her phone, knocking stuff down. Amanda was the first to open her SMS.

Her eyes flew open when she saw the school she was posted to. "Oh my god! Guys, where are you posted to?"

After a series of questions, it was settled. All five of them are going to the same Junior College. The SMS said: "_________, you are posted to ACJC."

That's right. They were all posted to ACJC- Akatsuki Criminology Junior College, affectionately known as...

the Akatsuki Crackpot Junior College.

The uniform consisted of, well, a white shirt and a black skirt covered with patterns of red clouds outlined in white. They bought their uniforms and patiently waited for the reporting day to come. The day soon arrived in a matter of a week.

Now, they stood before the gates of their school. What surprises awaits them?

To be continued....

I have a piece of bad news for you all. I will not write until Thursday. ACJC is truly a crackpot school. Orientation till 6pm. The sheer horror of never-ending cheers, games and enthusiasm. Anyway, be patient. I promise to put the first fic as quickly as possible. This concludes my ending message. See ya~!

30/1/2010 Saturday

YOU must be surprised why I wrote two posts in one day. It's because... I CAN! Nah...

It is due to the demand for the next fic I will write. Hence, I will finish this Halloween fic so that everyone can read the next fic I had planned in my mind.

Without further ado, please enjoy the final piece of Disaster Holiday- Halloween Festival!

Disaster Holiday- Halloween Festival [Prologue]

The clock struck twelve midnight. All was very still in the small flat. In various rooms, girls lay unconcious on the ground. Some were lying face-down onto the cold floor. Some were covered in a red liquid that resembled blood. Some lay among sticky white threads. However, three were still concious.

One sat on the ground, playing with the plastic bones around her. Two stood in the living room, looking around. Scattered around them were a plastic container containing red substances. Bags containing plastic creepy crawlies and made-in-china bones and other tricks were leaning against tables.

A bag containing white, sticky threads rested on an armchair, whereas a costume of some gay looking guy from Inuyasha hung on the lamp. Everyone was eliminated, they won.

Amanda and Janice hi-fived each another again. Then, they left the house, leaving everyone alone. The Halloween Festival was finally over, and so was the game.

As both girls walked down the road, they hid a grin. Oh yes, there is always next year.

~The End~

As I always say, R&R! Now, for people except Tare and Alien/Havocry/Celsius, you are dying to know what the next fic is about right? Although I guarantee no one except the three of us watches this anime, I will make you love it. Here is the content of the next fic:

As we start school, we receive new teachers. However, who are our teachers exactly? That's right! CLJ/ShadowTamerz/Perzona is proud to present:

An Akatsuki School

Love it? Wait for it! :D