Monday, 4/8/2008

Today, I was so so so busy... During the weekends, we didn't do much about our PBL project. But today, we rushed it in the night, for example right now. National Day is coming up and I'm the one hoisting the National Flag for the ceremony. Because I had never raised a flag before, I am forced to raise one tomorrow.

After CCA, I went home with Felicia, Janice and Cindy. She was so sick today; she made something for D&T and I tried to guess what she made. When I said that it looked like a bed, Cindy started giggling. It was obvious she was thinking of something dirty. But Janice herself blurted it out (I won't tell you).

I was yelling at her that she was sick but Cindy made an even more sicker comment. I am proud of myself for not vomitting after hearing it. ^^

After I reached home, showered and ate my dinner. I asked my mother for permission to use this laptop to discuss the project with my team mates, like right now. As I am thinking of ideas for our presentation, I am typing this XD.

Now for my thoughts:
Preegay is kinda... distant. For the first half of the year, she would become hyper and funny, something all of us liked. Sometimes, she would tell us that she would get serious and study hard for the exams. Still, she never lost her hyperness.

Now, she starts hanging out with Ying Ting and Sukbir, not that I mind. It is great to meet more new people and make more friends. She still hangs out with us, but I don't know what happened. She seldom talks to me, only to ask a math question or talk about projects. It's like... we are still friends, but we ignore each another most of the time.

Just now, she left the msn chatroom with us because she wanted to concentrate. What is wrong with joking around for a few minutes. At least that could lighten the mood! Today, I was so angry with my father for scolding me, I accidentally said that 'F' word. Preeya hated that word and I forgot all about it. Is that the reason why she hates me? Am I getting more and more rude?

At girl guides, I told Vani that I had a feeling that Sunthari, Alice,Vani and the others are getting irritated by me. I feel that when I spoke to them, all I talk is about my personal life. I am using vulgar languages sometimes. When I say that they were ignoring me, Sunthari would look at me and ask: 'yeah?' or 'what?'. I really get the feeling that they... can't be bothered with me.

Even my own relatives can't be bothered with me. I have to call their names a few times and they either respond or totally ignore me. My relatives were reluctant to even speak to me. That was the reason I do not wish to converse with them. Only my aunt seems to like me though... I know that when they read this, they would think like: "No, you are overimaginating!" but that's how I feel. I'm sorry. Don't bother trying to make me feel different, I've had enough of that.

I also get the feeling that Felicia, Cindy and Janice feel frustrated as well. Everytime, I always come to their house to do homework or for the simple reason of strangling Janice. They must be thinking: "Why must she always come to my house? She has her own house and she is bothering us, so why did she come!"

Janice, don't bother trying to make me feel better either. Like you, some things can never change. Making me feel better will only make me feel worse. And if you think that this is too much, don't. This is just the surface.